Tuesday, October 19, 2010

gina maria d'emilio

11.29.1981 - 10.19.1994

Children's Miracle Network Telethon

my uncle Joe Pinciotti, started Gina's Pillows in memory of my sister, Gina, who passed away from cancer 16 years ago. please join Gina's Pillows page and spread the word with your friends / family. proceeds will go to Children's Miracle Network. the design for Gina's Pillows is based on a pillow Gina made in the arts & crafts playroom while going through cancer treatments back in the early '90s. thanks for your support!

if you have lost a sibling or close friend to cancer or any other disease/cause and would like to have a conversation about your experience, please let me know. losing anyone is difficult and being able to talk with others about your loss can be extremely helpful. please feel free to reach out. i'm listening.


Thursday, June 3, 2010


the dealio with d'emilio is that www.leahdemilio.com is getting ready to launch. you can sign up for updates today! now all my musings will be in one place - links to my flickr, facebook, twitter, and youtube channel are all available there. i will no longer be blogging on the dealio, so please take a minute to subscribe via rss or email on leahdemilio.com. thanks!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

idle tongues

shut your hands and untie your mouth
these cold black lines don't breathe what you're about
a single buzz notifies the amplified sound
of your vapid discretion as it falls to the ground

only thoughts are golden when echoed aloud
so bite your fingers and ignore your crowd
your walls are graffitied with bullshit musings
you think you're so deep but you're really just using
an excuse to hide the depths of your mind
as you censor your truths, opinions, and crimes
of your heart and your soul
you don't know how you sound when you think anymore

your cry is imprisoned in the palm of your hands
unable to bail out these vexatious demands
idle tongues are not barren, they're fruitful and fair
ready to blast anyone with words who won't care

and no one does

the understudy to your fingers, anxious and broken
your voice always lingers with silence unspoken
in the back of your throat
you can't eat what you wrote

now you will sit here and stare at the wall
you've created, debated and shared with us all
perfectly kept like a garden of roses
with pictures of you in absolute poses

in your absence you live with the words that you type
twelve point default to vocalize your hype
seemingly expressive as the world stands amazed
but your chords are committed, disillusioned and crazed

carry on then with your hands wide open to lie
while your mouth gets the rope tied tighter and dies

© Leah D'Emilio 2010

Sunday, May 23, 2010

pasta vs. pasta



which one of these photos of pasta do you like better and why?


holy toledo. "we love grass. both kinds." "honk for weed." "please pass grass." rally in downtown toledo over the weekend. photo sent from one of my hometown resources. enjoy!

what are your thoughts on legalizing weed? share them here on the dealio.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

happy mother's day

i decided not to send my mother a card or flowers for mother's day. instead, i thought i'd write up a post. i think my mom appreciates my words more than anything else.

mothers are born. my mom is a strong woman who has sacrificed a significant portion of her life to take care of her family. as some of you may know from reading previous posts here, my parents first child and my only sibling, gina, was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 8 and battled for 3.5 years before passing away in 1994. both of my parents, along with the rest of my family, were by gina's side through it all, but the one person who was there for every single moment of her fight was my mother.

as i get older and realize what real love is i am only beginning to understand what this must have been like for her (as well as my father). i'm sure my mom has heard here and there from various people that she is so strong and commend her for what she did and how she handled it, but i know i have never had that conversation with her and i think today is a good day and this is a good way to let her know that she deserves more than just a passing compliment on the ability to "move on" about something so difficult.

this post is not meant to be morbid or depressing. there are many parents out there who have lost a child - either when the child was very young or as an adult - and i'm sure days like today are very challenging for them to get through. i remember hearing my mom say that a parent never expects to outlive their children, nor do they want to.

so, in honor of my mom, and other moms out there who experienced the loss of their child/children, i want to wish you all an extra special mother's day because you've had to deal with the one situation no parent would ever want to experience in their lifetime. whether you have other children or not, you're still the mother of the child who passed away and that is still something to celebrate - even though it may feel strange because they are no longer with you physically - your connection to that life, however brief or long it was, deserves to be celebrated, remembered, and shared.

through everything my mom had to deal with when my sister was going through treatments and the aftermath of her death, my mom (and dad) tried their best to give me a rich childhood, full of opportunities to pursue my dreams. it wasn't easy and i will never pretend that it was - for me or for them - but i know my parents worry that maybe they didn't do something right or made mistakes. and when there's an event like what my family went through in the mix of normal family life - those concerns are magnified.

so my mother's day gift to you, mom, is to let you know that you did a good job and not to worry. i'm thankful for everything you helped me with through the years and i know you'll be there for me no matter what. more people should know your story and you shouldn't be afraid to share the experience you went through. other mothers out there who are dealing with similar situations are probably looking for a person like you to confide in, relate with, and feel like they are not alone. i hope you feel appreciated and respected for your experiences and the sacrifices you made - and continue to make. stepping back and thinking about what you went through as another human being - regardless that you're my mom - is moving and inspiring. don't underestimate what you've provided our family.

gina made you a mom. i'm probably making you crazy. but, at the end of the day, you will always be the mother of two. happy mother's day.

cool pix

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

spring cleaning your attitude

here's some evergreen advice from the one and only dale carnegie. as "corporate" as some of these tips may sound, if you put them into the context that fits your individual scenarios i think you will find every one of these 30 "golden rules of success" extremely valuable. sometimes i think we all need a little reminder. so, get out your mental brooms and spring clean your attitude, freshen up your outlook on your work, relationships, and personal goals. enjoy!

dale carnegie's 30 golden rules of success:

Become a Friendlier Person
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in other people.
5. Smile.
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
9. Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.

Win People to Your Way of Thinking
10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
11. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
21. Throw down a challenge.

Be a Leader
22. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

the perks of being a wallflower

i'm currently reading the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky. right now i'm on page 56. the only time i really have to read for fun is at night before bed. it helps me wind down from a day spent online exposed to countless tweets, status updates, and blog posts. my day to day communication and storytelling typically fits into a 3 - 5 minute window. so it's quite refreshing to get wrapped up into a story that will take a few hours of reading over the course of several days, maybe even weeks to finish. so far i really like the style of this book, written in a series of letters from charlie to an anonymous reader. it makes me want to start writing my own book. anyway, i want to share one of my favorite passages from the book as of now:

"it's like he would take a photograph of sam, and the photograph would be beautiful. and he would think that the reason the photograph was beautiful was because of how he took it. if i took it, i would know that the only reason it's beautiful is because of sam.

i just think it's bad when a boy looks at a girl and thinks that the way he sees the girl is better than the girl actually is. and i think it's bad when the most honest way a boy can look at a girl is through a camera. it's very hard for me to see sam feel better about herself just because an older boy sees her that way." - p. 48 - 49
this passage really struck me personally. i have felt this way about myself before - that my value and self-esteem were based on how someone saw me through a camera lens. compositions or recordings that may or may not have reflected my true self. but it was the way i was portrayed to someone or some audience. cameras are not to be trusted, or i should say the person operating the camera is not to be trusted...actually, the person in front of the camera is not always to be trusted, either: a photographer, videographer, actor, host...OK, any person in general...decides how and what to show. the results can be brutally honest or a complete lie. ultimately we're all storytellers and try to have control over how others perceive us - including our own self-perception. convincing our own minds that people, experiences, places really were one particular way when maybe they weren't. we all know the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words". and that is true - but whose words? a photo can inspire a thousand different stories, but how do we know which one is true? we can get an impression of a person, of an event, of a place based on a single moment, a particular angle, one look out of hundreds, that may or may not truly represent that thing. but we will automatically invent a story around it and feel some kind of emotional reaction to it because of our own personal experiences and paradigms. i wonder how many impressions we have of someone, or some thing, that are true vs. false based on photographs/videos.

those are my ramblings for the night...what are your thoughts? share them here on the dealio.

Monday, March 29, 2010

just another manic monday

just another manic monday at rocketboom. today was mostly a day of organizing and emails. i also got a crash course on the panasonic hpx 170. feel much better about operating that thing. molly and i shot 4 episodes yesterday, which i call a 9/10 for productivity. we're getting ready for our trip out to LA april 8 - 12 for the streamy awards. our calendar is already filling up for our time out west, but if you have any suggestions please leave them in a comment below. rocketboom and know your meme were nominated (3 nominations total). ooh, i got to use snaps pro today for an upcoming casual friday. the man's voice always scares me a bit and the panic sets in after he calls action. at least i recorded in 30 frames this time and not 10. tried spicy hot chocolate today at jacques torres down the street. wicked chocolate is what they call it. it's delicious and i recommend trying some if you're in the area. i should probably go to bed now since i have to be back to work at 8:30 a.m. leave me something entertaining for the morning. i dare ya.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

my life is an open facebook

i tried to keep facebook divided into private and public pages/content. for me, its nearly impossible to maintain. i don't like separating people off into lists or deciding "who makes the cut". so, tonight i decided to just make everything open. there's nothing i share on my personal page that i wouldn't share on my public page...so, come on over to facebook and say hello!

would love to hear your ideas on what you'd like to see on each page - one for LEAH and one for THE DEALIO ?

Saturday, February 27, 2010

khary jackson - rosa parks

another video of slam poet, khary jackson...

my former bgsu forensics speech team member, khary jackson, is a national slam poetry champ. he's performing in new york city over the next few days. i got to see him last night at the nuyorican poets cafe. here's his final piece from friday night's performance, "rosa parks". enjoy!

again, congrats to khary!

khary jackson - zoot suit riot

my former bgsu forensics speech team member, khary jackson, is a national slam poetry champ. he's performing in new york city over the next few days. i got to see him last night at the nuyorican poets cafe. here's his first piece he performed last night, "zoot suit riot". enjoy!

congrats, khary, on all your success!

Friday, February 19, 2010

wacky laws

i got to be in a casual friday episode with @mememolly. check it out! so much fun - i think you'll like the ending...regarding the ball and ice cream cone: ask me how many takes we had before we got them right...

Saturday, February 13, 2010

MoMA pics

thanks to Target friday nights are free at MoMA and you can get free b&w digital pics!

Friday, February 12, 2010

happy valentine's day

here's the valentine's episode i shot with @mememolly - enjoy! also, click here to read the case against i love you - a short article that explains why the phrase "i love you" is overused and loses meaning...definitely something to think about before you give away your valentines this year!

Friday, February 5, 2010

Super Bowl XLIV

Check out our latest Casual Friday on Rocketboom! This week's show was written, directed, and edited by Ryan Hunter from Poykpac. I was the camera operator on this shoot. Super Bowl XLIV stars a few familiar faces - let me know what you think!

What are you doing for Super Bowl XLIV? Share it here on The Dealio!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

floating thoughts

an excerpt from an entry i wrote while sitting at the floating lounge in berlin, germany. enjoy.

"...there's a hostel and floating lounge...i'm sitting here now, alone, in the red glow drinking a large Rothaus beer. i ate a few chips this afternoon so i already feel this going to my head...there's a table over speaking english and i kind of want to go over there and mingle, but i've also enjoyed just being super reflective and introverted this trip. i love observing and am excited to blog and edit my videos...it's been good for me. i realize that i'm ready to share my life with someone...i've spent enough time alone. i want to plan my life with someone and share all these experiences because although they're meaningful it's not the same. it's like the question of, "if a tree falls", if a person travels and experiences, sees the world--does anyone "hear" it? we take pics, we take videos, we write - why? because we want to share our experiences with others. maybe our motivations are different, but i believe we all have this innate desire to share. the reason could be selfish and egotistical, or it could be genuine and in the interest of teaching, inspiring others...

it's awesome - in this lounge right now i hear english, french, german...

but that's the thing. one of the "mottos" i live by is the pike quotation "what you do for yourself..." traveling "alone" is something i did for myself - even though i stayed with friends and family - but i've "documented" this trip for the purpose of sharing, remembering...

i met this guy on a film shoot in palm springs last spring who shared an interesting perspective with me about pictures and videos. he told me about his dad who would say things like, "oh back then i was so...those were the good times..." as if now sucked. i've often thought about this because i feel there are a lot people who live in the past and get hung up on "good" things were. usually, we remember things to be much more awesome or worse than they really were. i think photos and videos are cool, of course, its the business i'm in, but i also enjoy just LIVING IN THE MOMENT and absorbing it now. if you remember it - great - if not, oh well. at least you were FULLY PRESENT for the time that thing or person was in front of you. personally, i feel this is a beautiful way to live life. sometimes i feel that the urge to "capture" and "archive" the moment all the time ruins it. just LIVE IT NOW! cause in the end it doesn't really matter. it matters, but not in the way we think it will. yes, it's nice to reminisce but that can do a lot of damage. learning to live in the moment and be completely PRESENT...is what makes life worthwhile. i don't care what happened 10 years ago or what will happen 10 years from now. what's important is how i'm living now. and right now in this moment i feel both happy and sad. i'm the only person in this place sitting by myself. everyone else is either in groups of 2 or more - besides the bartender. part of this makes me happy because i like to write and observe and think, and part of this makes me sad because i would like to share this moment with someone.

"i don't know i'm here until i talk with someone."

i think that just means in anything you do it's not "real" unless its shared...

i'm gonna have another beer..."
after that, i walked up to the bar, got another beer and struck up a conversation with a fellow traveler from australia. it was so nice to speak with someone who was also exploring the city. this was one of my favorite nights in berlin - it was also my last night before flying back to rome for new years eve. after leaving the lounge, i met up with some friends at a bar and stayed out until 9 a.m. so much fun!

how do you keep track of your traveling/life experiences? photos? videos? blogs? journals? scrapbooks? have you ever just gone somewhere and not documented it? are you scared of forgetting? what helps you live "in the moment"? feel free to share whatever thoughts you have after reading this post...i think this would be an interesting conversation...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

WSOBP V Smashing Time Wins Again!

been in vegas hosting the finals of the wsobp V. more details to come. in the airport waiting on my flight back to nyc. here's a pic for now!

                                     @leahdemilio interviews Smashing Time at The WSOBP 5 #fb